As the end of the contentious 2012 election cycle appeared on the horizon, the PRACTICAL SAILOR bumped into the POLITICIAN, who was suffering from the worst case of maritime metaphor-itis that the PRACTICAL SAILOR had ever seen.
POL: I can’t shake this sinking feeling that we wont weather this crisis.
PS: Huh?
POL: Batten down the hatches! Find safe harbor! The nation is adrift.
PS: It does sorta feel like were in the doldrums. (The contagion had set in.)
POL: Were foundering in debt! The middle class is struggling to stay afloat. We need a steady hand at the helm, not another bailout.
PS: Now, don’t go overboard. Cant we just try a different tack?
POL: Who is going to show us the ropes? Its time to clear the decks, reef the sails, and man the pumps!
PS: Maybe if we were anchored to a higher cause? We just need to re-calibrate our moral compass, and follow it to the bitter end.
POL: We are loaded to the gunwales with good intentions. We must plot a new course. Curse this ship of fools! (He was quickly becoming unmoored.)
PS: Steady . . . steady . . . Were not on the rocks just yet. Sure, the nation is awash with problems, but we still have some leeway. Maybe this will all blow over.
POL: We hit the high-water mark years ago. Look at us now! High and dry, in the eye of the hurricane!
PS: Hmm. I still think we need some latitude. What about a plan that lifts all boats?
POL: What? You think we can
afford to take on extra ballast . . . and then just sail away?
PS: We just need to get our
bearings-and put you blowhards in our wake.
POL: So, Im the fly in the ointment? Youll have the devil to pay!
PS: Fly in the ointment?
POL: Im sorry. Im running short of sailing metaphors. You are stealing the wind from my sails.
PS: Better than missing the boat.
POL: What I meant was . . . Look, the tide was in our favor, and then WHAMMO! All hands on deck!
PS: Whammo!?
POL: We need someone who can navigate this mess, someone who can steer clear of lee shores.
PS: Someone with sea legs?
POL: Precisely. My plan can put us on an even keel and hold the rhumb line toward stability.
PS: (Under breath.) Great,
another loose cannon.
POL: What? (Taken aback.) Look, Im not trying to rock the boat.
PS: Make it stop.
POL: We just need to fire a shot across the bow, stop trying to buck the tide . . .
PS: Make it stop . . . please.
