O Tayana 37, How do I Loathe Thee?

O, Tayana 37! How many poor souls will thee ensnare with thy seduction? How can 600 or so cruising sailors be so wrong?

O, how much I loathe thee! Let me count the ways.

1. I loathe thee for your lovely teak decks, prone to leaking, hot to touch in the tropics, and forever accumulating dirt.
2. I loathe thee for thy alluring bowsprit, a precarious perch for any man, much less one with two hip replacements.
3. I loathe thee for thy water tank sloshing in the bow, turning thee into a teeter-totter when the mildest swell rolls into the bay.
4. I loathe thee for thy encapsulated iron ballast, and its penchant for invisibly corroding-out of sight and out of mind.
5. I loathe thee for thy Constellation rudder and how thee moves in reverse as gracefully as a hippo backing down circular stairs.
6. I loathe thee for thy club-footed staysail that refuses to tack and yearns to club my shins just below the knees.
7. I loathe thee for thy tiny cockpit and cozy cabin, assuring that any in-laws vowing to visit in Martinique will not stay for long.
8. I loathe thee for thy gleaming brightwork and its persuasive message: To own a low-maintenance boat is to admit defeat to a plastic god.
9. I loathe thee for thy designer Bob Perry, who is too damned good-natured for anyones good.
10. I loathe thee for the happy couples aboard thee, dining on fresh-caught conch fritters, blogging from paradise. (Is there not one Tayana 37 with a belligerent, combative crew?)
11. I loathe thee for thy mighty bulwarks and the impression of strength they convey-water cascading harmlessly down the lee rail, and thee with a bone in thy teeth.
12. But most of all I loathe thee for thy cruel heart. While stale, look-alike boats linger here in the harbor, gloating over their open transoms and fast, flat bottoms, thee and thy sweet Baltic stern will soon disappear over the horizon . . . leaving me high and dry.

For more reasons to loathe (or love) the Tayana 37, see our full review in the November 2015 issue of Practical Sailor.